Domestic Violence Should Never Be Tolerated!
Posted by Media Outrage on November 20th, 2009
We received an email from a loyal reader who shall remain nameless. This is a very serious situation and she consented to us posting the email. Peep game folks as she’s looking for advice:
“Hi MO,
I am a loyal reader and check out the site every day from work and even on the weekends. I have a girlfriend who has been in an abusive relationship for over 10 years now. She married the ass hole and they have kids together. I have watched her come to my house with a busted lip, black eye, bruised arms and all types of crazy ish. I have begged her to leave this man for years every since I first found out that he would lay hands on her. He is a complete coward as he would never have the heart to put his hands on a man. I am afraid for her as he has become more and more violent as of late. Everytime I get ready to intervene she gets angry at me and stops taking my calls and tells me to mind my own damn business. What should I do? I know you guys are not counselors but most of the things on the site you say seem very practical. Please don’t put my name on the site but you can post this email or just email me back.
Thanks.”
Mediaoutrage- Ok… this is very serious “reader.” We make a lot of Chris Brown Rihanna jokes but in actuality domestic violence is nothing to play with. If you haven’t already, you should call the police and inform them of the situation and send them to her home. If you happen to see her with bruises or physical effects that prove he put his hands on her, then do call 911 and send the popo to get his ass. Now if she refuses to press charges we’re not sure what kind of action the law can take against him in the long run, but, it will send a message to his cowardly ass that people are watching him. If you know any of her male family members that will intervene that might not be aware of the situation then please do inform them. Her life is at stake whether she realizes it or not. A man can easily beat another man to death so you know it’s not that difficult for him to become enraged and kill a woman if he is already abusing her anyway. We would get people involved. Tell all of your friends so they can intervene as well because she is playing with fire and you don’t want to end up living out a tragedy. That’s our advice to you. We’re not counselors but this is just the course of action we would take if it were us or someone we knew in the situation.
November 20th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Oh wow that is so sad. The reality of this is she may not have anywhere to go once she leaves. If you called the police on her behalf and they question her, she might deny there is abuse. First you need to call the domestic abuse hotline and get all the information you can for her.
Second you need to have a heart to heart and give her the information and beg her to make a decision on her life. For whatever reason victims stay with their abuser and mistake it for love, or problems the abuser may have experience in his/her life.(women are abuser also). I pray she gets out before his abuse transfer to her children.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
First of all get informed of all the options that she has and lay it out for her so that she can see that she is not alone and she can be helped
!!
I pray that she gets out before the kids grow up with his tendancies or her low self-esteem. The police can be called and he can be arested, she doesn;t have to comply because the state will pick up a Domestic Violence case and send his ass straight to jail.
There is nothing funny about domestic violence, it is sad and people need to stop abusing and start loving!!!
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Ok, first off the law does not recognize nor require a woman who has been abused to agree, give a statement or consent to testify. The pictures and emergency room results (where the popo WILL take her stupid a**) will speak on her dumb a** behalf. State and local laws changed years ago due to women retracting statements, etc. Now, consent or agreement from the woman is not required, nor needed, just report that fag, bitch-ass nucca.
No real man needs to lay hands on a woman….no matter what stupid, ignorant ish is coming out of their mouth. Leave, bite down on a leather belt, break up some ish…but keep your hands to yourself. A real nigga properly engraged will and could kill the f**k out of most all woman, so don’t let me get there.
On the same topic though….ya’ll can and do say some ish that is straight homicidally provoking. Cancel that ish also.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I can say this to the reader-you can help just by calling the cops and take pics of her. If she doesn’t want your help openly, you can go behind her back and take your evidence to the cops. Cops see the evidence one time too many they aren’t just going to sit back and just take her words of it being just an accident- they will start watching that household. They will actually haul his ass in and question him about the so-called accidents. And if she speaks to you again, remind her how easily she can lose her kids because social services will not tolerate a child living in a violent home.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Do anything that you can to save your friend and those children as soon as possible.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Yea get your friend out of that situation ASAP. Call the police and let them do their jobs. Whether or not she wants to remain friends with you is besides the point. He’s a coward for hitting a woman and his wife at that. She might be stupid right now but we all make errors in life that require for others to intervene.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
She’s not thinking about her children and the effects that violence in the home can have on their behavior and overall mentality. She has to remover herself out of that situation before it turns tragic.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Sad situation, sometimes no matter what you do , wont work, i know someone that went thru that same thing, their man beat them so bad, broken her up, and a good friend tried to intervene, call cops, they went out and she denied it, told a big lie and the cops back off, if she dont admit they walk away, its sad, if she dont want that help, nothing anyone can do, sometimes its to late, unfortunately, and sometime they have to hit rock bottom, now this friend begged, called cops, told everyone, etc, guys we know went to the house, she wouldnt open door, told us all to mind our fucking business, to make it short, she ended up packing an moving away with him, and we havent heard from her since, even her family wont tell, dont know why, but i feel like this, now its in god’s hand!
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
I don’t think she is stupid, just frighten. if she does not work where will she go? this writer did not say if she works, if she has family, if she has anywhere to go. It’s easy for us to say get her out, but once she is out what happens next? She will need some strong support and a willing heart to see her through getting back on her feet alone.
Calling the police is not enough. She needs someone to stand for her while she gets herself together. This makes me so sad, and I bet she feels helpless.
.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Hmmmmmmmmm Lowridaz sweet heart no WOMAN should have to beg her friend to call the cops on some hoe azz noggah for beating her azz.And I really didn’t peep what state she’s from but in TX,she don’t have to say shyt.In MO,she don’t don’t have to say shyt. In those two states she don’t even have to call the police,the next door neighbor can call and his azz is going to jail. Once they see her and she give his name the STATE WILL PICK UP THE CHARGE. Now if she don’t give his name then SHE IS A STUPID WOMAN, A.K.A STUPID BITCH. WHO CAN NOT BE SAVED. PEACE
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
I AGREE Rafiq, if anyone dont give up info when police come, then nothign you can do, sometime women do that, when cops come they change it up, but as I said it in god’s hand now, she moved away with him, what happens then? she up and left. I also know woman that have been in situations like that and left with nothing, not a penny or change of clothes, must of been scary for them, going to the unknown, but they did, and are doing just fine. nothing is impossible, with determination. but i have never been in any situation like that, so i dont know what each individual is feeling at the moment, i can only go by examples of folks that i know who have been in that and either removed themselves from that situation or stayed in and continued being abused, or died!
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
The kids are really suffering, she knows right from wrong. Fuck love. I wish a MF would try to whoop my ass. Fuck with a real bitch and you will get a real ass whoopin!! Damn shame woman need to wake up and think about their children more. If there is a will there is a way. Bullshit on excuses, put them to the side and take action for your children. Grown ass woman allowing some man to beat on her. Okay, I can understand 1,2,3 times fighting but when you get into an abusive situation, time to wake up, smell the coffee bc it is burnt honey and there aint no going back!
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
This is so freaking sad…you said “Every time I get ready to intervene she gets angry at me and stops taking my calls and tells me to mind my own damn business.”…yea, that’s the way it is with some battered women.
From that statement the only thing I can say is…..be her friend when she needs you because on some DEEP WARPED LEVEL your friend is taking this for love. Your friend has been in this sadistic relationship for 10 years and she’s not about to leave.
What you might do is…the next time she comes to your house after a beat down call the police or inform her family members, if they don’t already know.
This has to be stopped or you will wind up going to her funeral but you friend has got to want it to stop. Until she does that there is not too much you can do. Sad, but it is what it is.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Hmmmmm Lowridaz you are WAYYYYYYY TO SMART AND MUCH TO BEAUTIFUL TO EVEN THINK ABOUT LETTING THAT KIND OF SHYT HAPPEN TO YOU.And Ms. Brynnrock my man up top Nupe said a mouth full. If a man get in a rage your chances get very slim of kickin his azz.Not saying it can’t be done,but why make him go there.SHUT THA PHUCK UP ,DON’T TRY AND GRAB HIM OR THE CAR KEYS WHEN HE’S TRYING TO LEAVE.DON’T RUN OUTSIDE SCREAMMING AT HIM CALLING HIM ALL KINDS OF HOE AZZ NOGGAHS SO EVERYBODY CAN HEAR YOU.If the situation is that bad,when he leave pack what ever you can and go.There are women shelters avaliable 24/7,365 for abused women if she has nowhere to go.So Ms.Brynnrock please don’t go there,we don’t wanna be READING about you throwin HOT GREASE ON A MUTHAPHUCKA.You know they called me and told me you’d do that SHYT.PEACE
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Get her family and/or other friends involved as scare tactics. If that doesn’t help, let the police handle it. She doesn’t have to do or say anything. The evidence will do it for her. Not only that, tell her you’ll call CPS on her. If she really loves her children, she’ll think twice about staying with that punk.
[Reply]
November 20th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Depending on the state and local laws, she may need to be willing to talk with police. Things can be done for the children, because if she doesn’t want to be helped, that should not be taken out on the kids. Trust me when I say they will be emotionally and mentally affected by it for life. You can take the information to the childrens school or youth and family services. If you contact the school, they will talk to the child with only family services there so their parents can’t coerce them to changing the story. Then they will contact the parents and start an investigation. The parents making up an excuse will not negate the information given. From there if youth and family services finds the children in an abusive home, the police will be contacted and nothing the mother can do will stop that. The main concern is the children. She is grown enough to decide what she wants to do. Unfortunately her decisions may be fatal for her in the long run.
But definitely contact the kids’ school, the family’s church (if any) or youth and family services, so they can get the children out of that home.
[Reply]
November 21st, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I feel for this woman as I have never been in this situation. I feel that maybe she aint leaving cuz this is her “normal.”
What I mean is, to all of us this is abnormal behavior. But she may have grown up in an abusive home, therefore she is used to men beating women. So this is kinda okay and normal to her.
As a friend what you can do is advise her to call the police and get out. That’s it. If she refuses, cut her off. Stop callin her. Stop going over there. Leave her be. She will get out when she is ready. The abuse will stop one way or the other. Sadly it may stop the day he kills her, but it will stop.
For the woman who is being beat on, you ALWAYS have somewhere to go. Even if you have no family. This is why battered women shelters exist. And the shelter helps u get on yo feet. Goin as far as helpin u secure an apt and they even buy u furniture. Even if you have to live on the street its better than being beat on. Good luck to you and yours.
-Smurf
[Reply]
November 21st, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Sad case….it seems like the abuse is getting worst. She needs to either leave, report the abuse to the authorities(if truly legitimate), or try to get the brother some professional help/counseling(that’s if she insists on staying with the dude)…Sometimes it’s phsycological problems(maybe dude saw his Father abusing his Mother when he was a youth)? My older brother and I witnessed our biological Father beat on my Mama when I was young…As a result my older brother turned out to be violent and abusive towards others(physically and mentally). Also my Father was a heavy alcohol abuser, which my brother also inherited….prison has also plagued his life.
If you don’t do it for yourself, then you must do it for your children’s sake. Kids are very observant, you don’t want your children to get the impression that hitting their mommy is okay or normal….meaning a son might grow up to be an abuser, and a daughter might grow up and allow men to abuse them.
On another sad note, one of my friends in college used to beat on his girlfriend with closed fists…..She eventually reported the abuse to the authorities….he is currently serving an 8 year sentence with no prior criminal record.
[Reply]